Reason #234 that I suck

you should never tell people that you are going to do a three day juice fast.


That way, when you fail miserably, there is no one to mock you.  Or, no one there to say you are crazy because they don't understand how terribly hard you hug the tree.

Also, you should never begin a three day juice fast the day you also start your period.  Because a three day juice fast will make you feel like crapola and you don't need the hormones to make you a homicidal maniac.

By the end of the first 24 hours, my kids were begging me to eat something.

The really bad part is making a roast on the first day of your juice fast and smelling that wonderful aroma all day long.




So basically, i suck.  I have no willpower.  And I'm an awesome cook and can't be blamed for my inability to refrain from consuming insanely delicious food.

although, after nothing but kale juice all day, a shoe would taste delicious.


Tara said...

Obviously, I've never tried a juice fast but I would guess you would not only feel like crapola but you would be doing a lot of it too?!?! In addition to your period?!?! No thanks!

PS I'll never announce to the world when I start potty training #2 because potty training #1 was such a disaster that I felt like the biggest loser of a mother ever!

Caroline said...

You dont suck. You are human.

Michelle said...

No way I could do this EVER!

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

The biggest reason you don't suck is because you're so darn honest. You cut to the chase and let us know why we don't have to waste time doing things that would suck anyway. Thanks!

Dreena M. Tischler said...

The only sort of juice fast you should start the day before your period is a Godiva liquor one. In fact, it's entirely possible that it's the only type of juice fast you should attempt as mother of seven; just saying.

And btw, you must have will power because you have been through all kinds of chaos and medical crud and yucky food plans in the last year that NO one would WANT to go through and you did it ALL so your kids could have their mom a little longer. So ha!

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