yes, this is the actual nail they pulled out of his leg, not some picture I pulled off the web.

So my Daddy shot himself with a nail gun again.

This time he was nailing up some ceiling joists in his new shop and when he was coming down the ladder, it went off.

He sort of just stood there so I asked him if he shot himself again.  He said "Yeah" in his slow drawl, like it was no big deal.  Right about then, the boy who swims started to panic and run around hollering, "Call 911!".  We got him calmed down and I told him that I would just drive Daddy to the emergency room.  Dynomite stayed surprisingly calm and helped get him into my truck.  When he was getting him situated, we remembered to take the 45 out of Daddy's pants.  Emergency Rooms don't usually like you to come packing.

Dynomite put the gun in Daddy's truck and he and the Boy who swims stayed with the little girls who were there while I drove to the hospital.  I drove like a bat of hell and didn't see one stinking cop.  Of course every other time I may be driving a little faster than I am supposed to, there are police everywhere.  I just wanted to be able to answer YES just once when they asked me, "Mam, is there some emergency I need to know about?"

I pulled into the Emergency drive and asked for someone to help me get Daddy into the wheel chair.  He said it actually didn't hurt unless he moved his leg much.  Cause that's where he shot himself this time.  In the thigh.  They helped him in and I went to park my truck.

I have been to that emergency room so many times it's not funny and I have never ever been given such prompt service.  By the time I got parked, they already had Daddy in a room with his jeans cut up the leg.  I go in for a migraine and sit for an hour, vomiting in a trash can.  Mention the words 'shot in the leg' and you may or may not be given preferential treatment.

They gave him some pain meds and then just grabbed that sucker and pulled.  It was in so deep, it was dimpled in his thigh.  Luckily for Daddy, it went in at an angle and didn't hit the bone.  He's gotten lucky every time he has managed to shoot himself and missed the bone.  We had to stay long enough to take x-rays and get a bag of fluids and meds into him.  They gave him a pretty big dose of antibiotics, something to dull the ache and some tetanus to make sure he didn't get lock jaw.

Meanwhile, I called the boy who swims and told him to take the 45 out of Daddy's truck and lock it in the office so he could drive the other kids home in Daddy's truck.  I didn't want him getting pulled over and having to explain why there was a glock under the five year old's seat in the back.

We went back that night to get the gun, but we still haven't managed to get the last two nails in that ceiling joist.  I told Daddy he'd have to do it the old fashioned way, with a hammer and nails.


Kara @ His, Hers and Ours said...

Holy CRAP! That is just plain insane! So glad he is ok, but geesh!

And I think I'm with you...go back to the old fashioned way.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Dang, he doesn't mess around. That is one BIG nail!
Maybe he's safer with the actual guns than the nail guns.
Yes, a good old hammer would be in order...

Caroline said...

I'm glad everyone is okay! But I was laughing as I read this and read parts out loud to my husband. His comments were "Glock doesn't make a 45" and "we should move to Texas, at last they have style there."

Misty said...


Michelle said...

OMG! How do you keep it all together woman! Glad it all turned out well and hope your Dad continues to heal.

Tara said...

When I saw this on Twitter, I cringed a whole lot! This post on the other hand makes me laugh a whole lot! Glad everything turned out ok though.

GunDiva said...

(Glock does actually make a .45)

I think maybe there shouldn't be the use of the word "again" or phrases like "He's gotten lucky every time he has managed to shoot himself" in this post.